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一位烏克蘭女性藝術家的自白:娜塔莎・別列克霍琴柯 Natasha Perekhodenko

娜塔莎・別列克霍琴柯Natasha Perekhodenko涵藝術烏克蘭女性藝術家林暄涵

2022-08-15|撰文者:文:娜塔莎・別列克霍琴柯;譯:林暄涵 Metra Lin

凌晨5點,我從轟炸聲中醒來,我的身體和靈魂似乎被炸彈穿透。 我永遠不會忘記這個早晨。因為戰爭開始了。

我居住的城市在一天內完全變了,人走了,商店和藥房、交通工具都停止運作,生活用品和藥物開始變貴。 我發現自己處在一個新的現實中。 我們不得不跑到地鐵站躲避炸彈,我很害怕。而地鐵站人山人海,大家坐在地上哭泣,我很怕直視他們的眼睛;因為每個人的雙眼都充滿了恐懼和痛苦。 我受不了,於是我大哭了起來。

戰爭的第三天,我們乘車向西行駛。沒帶衣物,不敢多想,我們只想趕快逃離危險。空曠的道路、路障、掠奪者、廢棄的砲彈汽車、沒有地方加油⋯⋯內心的恐懼驅使著我們盡快地奔跑!

圖說:娜塔莎,分離,油彩・畫布,40x40cm,2022。

我女兒去了德國。我們決定在那裡見面,這也意味著我必須和我丈夫分離。於是,我和我的朋友、她的兒子開著一台車開啟了七天的旅行。 途中歷經無數條冗長的道路和邊境、國家,接受了許多良善熱心人士的幫助。這一段旅程不僅漫長疲累,而且充滿了眼淚。

德國。這一個安全的國家。他們關心我們,給我們一個家和食物。我享受著這一個安全感,同時也為我的國家,為那些留在那裡、死去的人感到無比的沈痛。究竟為什麼會發生這樣的事情?什麼時候可以結束?

圖說:娜塔莎,輕柔,油彩・畫布,20x60cm, 20x20cm,2022。

這場戰爭不僅是一個人的責任,而是整個國家的責任。 他們害怕獨裁者,選擇附和並發動這場血腥戰爭,殘酷地摧毀烏克蘭人。他們進入我們的家園,在我們的家園殺死我們。他們的人性在那裡?這一個在二十一世紀決定在歐洲中部發動戰爭並殺害鄰居的國家,到底是怎麼了?已經破碎和被盜的生命和命運,何時可以還給我們?誰可以告訴我?

在一個陌生的國家裡的新生活。 陌生的人、陌生的語言、不熟悉的文化、新的家、新的工作場域和不熟悉的人際關係規則⋯⋯我在這裡重新開始了我的生活。有人破壞了我的生活,卻沒有問我是否想要它。

圖說:娜塔莎,樂觀,油彩・畫布,20x20cm, 20x60cm,2022。

我和女兒進入了杜塞道夫的藝術學院。我們和當地的藝術家和當地文化進行交流、學習,並獲得了寶貴的經驗。美術館、展覽和學校的生活讓我們得以堅持下去,並對未來懷抱希望。我覺得我變得強大。現在的我在學院有一個工作室,可以在這裡創作,也和當地一些非常有趣且才華洋溢的藝術家交流。我抱著希望和信念開啟新生活,希望未來一切都會變好,烏克蘭能早日獲得自由。

我想把我對未來的希望和幸福畫出來,沒有痛苦和悲劇。 也許這是消極的逃避現實,但這是讓我現在可以活下去的方法。我繼續嘗試抽象繪畫;我的新系列作品描繪我對善良與和平的希望與期望,那是一個一個明亮、無憂無慮的空間,每個人都能在裡頭懷抱夢想與希望。

圖說:娜塔莎,回家的路,油彩・畫布,40x40cm,2022。

我為我的丈夫和他的堅持感到自豪! 即使在如此困難和黑暗的時代,他也繼續畫畫,絲毫不放棄對藝術的追求。

我為烏克蘭人感到自豪,他們如此勇敢地捍衛我們的國家和人民。我以生為烏克蘭人感到自豪。烏克蘭向全世界展示了驚人的勇氣和韌性。我們為我們的自由而戰,我們堅不可摧。榮耀終歸烏克蘭!榮耀終歸我們的英雄們!

我衷心感謝所有在路上支持和幫助我的人。謝謝你們,並獻上我的一鞠躬!

這場戰爭已經對至少數百萬人的巨大傷害,他們的痛苦和眼淚,他們的房屋和土地被無情地破壞和摧毀。這一切對我的國家、我的親戚和朋友,以及對我個人來說,都是一場悲劇和戲劇。 我希望找到力量,在我的生活中不對那些創造這一切並持續摧毀的人產生恨意。 但我真的永遠不會忘記,也永遠不會原諒這場戰爭。

圖說:娜塔莎,藍色的各種表現 -II,油彩・畫布,50x50cm,2022。

*娜塔莎・別列克霍琴柯及其他烏克蘭藝術家,將於涵藝術策劃的《不屈的烏克蘭》聯展中展出,目前預訂的展出時程如下:

新創生活展|高雄展覽館 南館|涵藝術 B222

2022.8.19—8.21

——

以下為烏克蘭藝術家Natasha Perekhodenko的原始文章

I woke up at 5 am from the dull sounds of bombing, which pierced my body and soul through and through.  I will never forget this morning.  The war began.

My city changed in a day, people left, shops, pharmacies, transport stopped working, ordinary products and medicine started to be a great value.  We found ourselves in a new reality.  It was terrible.We had to run to the subway to hide from the bombs. There was a "sea" of people, they were crying, sitting, lying down, it was hard to look into their eyes. They were full of pain and fear.  I couldn't stand it and cried too.

On the third day of the war, we took the car and drove west.  Without clothes, without unnecessary thoughts.  One point - to run away from danger. Empty roads, roadblocks,marauders, abandoned shelled cars, lack of gasoline... Fear and an internal drive to run as fast as we could...

My daughter left to Germany.  We decided to meet there. That meant separation from my husband.  The decision was made. My friend, her little son and me are in the car. Seven days of travel.  Again roads, boarders, countries, people with large hearts and their help, again many roads, again many tears.

Germany.  A safe sky above the head.  Kind people who care about us, give a home and food.  A feeling of security and at the same time incredible pain for our country, for those who stayed there and die. And the only one question, why did it happen and when will it end....

This war is the responsibility not of the only one person, but of the entire nation.  Their fear of the dictator and their choice to wage this bloody war and brutally destroy Ukrainians.  To come into our homes and kill us there. Where is humanity and what happened to the country that decided to wage war in the center of Europe in the 21st century and kill its neighbors.Who, when and how will answer for broken and stolen lifes and destinies?....

A new life in an unfamiliar country.  New people, a new foreign language, new customs, a new home, new duties and rules... I start my life anew.  As someone came and broke my life without asking me if I wanted it.

My daughter and I entered the Academy of Art in Dusseldorf.  We learn and gain invaluable experience in communicating with artists and local culture.  Museums, exhibitions, students life make it possible to hold on and keep going.  To be strong.  I got a place in the studio at the Academy and I can work there.  I met very interesting and talented artists.  I live with a hope and faith that everything will be fine and Ukraine will be free.

I want to make paintings in which there is my hope for the future and happiness, in which there is no pain and tragedy.  Maybe it's another escape from emotional reality, but that's how I feel right now.  I continue to experiment with abstract painting and my new series of works is about hope and expectation for goodness and peace.  A bright, carefree space around us, where we are or can be someday.  Dreams and hopes.

I am proud of my husband and his endurance.  His devotion to art and the fact that even in such difficult and dark times he continues to make paintings.

I am proud of Ukrainian men who so courageously defend our country and us. I am proud to be Ukrainian. The fact that Ukraine shows the whole world amazing courage and resilience.  We fight for our freedom and we are unbreakable. Glory to Ukraine! Glory to heroes!

I am sincerely grateful to every person on my way who supported and helped me.  Sincere thanks to you people and low bow!

This war is the great suffering of millions of people, their pain and tears, the merciless and cynical destruction of homes and places, it is a tragedy and drama for my nation, my relatives and friends, and me personally.  I hope to find the strength to live on without hatred for those who created all this and continue the destroying.  I will never forget and never forgive this war.


娜塔莎・別列克霍琴柯Natasha Perekhodenko涵藝術烏克蘭女性藝術家林暄涵
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